Love Soars the Skies

I stand in the dining room, ready to dine. Your corner is to my right side…, as I lean against the china cabinet. “China doll, your family called you…, Uncle Rudy.” We wanted to do good things in this world; make a difference somehow. Writing was my way. And I know you did too. I look at all your things in this corner. Now I’m petting Neo, who’s here on my desk. And he begins to purr. I take a photo. His paw is on my page, I notice, and take another photo. I think back to the one of him sitting by the lion on the patio table. “He’s part of the lion family, Mom. And so am I.” We are talking as I pet Neo. What shall I write about you, I say to Neo. He rolls over as if on cue. “He’s our family, Mom.” “That’s all they need to know.” “Something good, Mom. Something really good.” “We’re gonna teach kids the alphabet, Mom, and about Unicorn Magic.” “The kind that’s made of pure love.” So they are real? The unicorns. “It was made of pure love – our unicorn box.” “And it’s our symbol, Mom.” “Of their ability to transverse worlds – the physical and the spiritual.” “And they do the best magic!” If I could dream of something good to come from all this… The complete shattering of my heart. I am crying now with my head on my paper… My pen still writing. “Our pen still writing.” It’s you telling me this. “It is, Mom.” “It is.” The Unicorn Magic. And how do people get there? “Through love.” I couldn’t imagine a more magical story, or ever dream it. But it is magic. To come from all this. I wish you were here… “But then there would be no magic.” I think back to Alice the Clown at your third birthday, and you, and all our memories… “You included that poem in my program, for my service.” Program… That’s pure genius, I tell him. “Pure love,” he replies. As I walk back to my office, I notice the white unicorn with the gold horn and mane. “That’s a photo they all should see.” “You found it at Ross, on a shelf, our favorite store.” The Unicorn Magic. The magic of love. Genius, I tell him again…, laughing. It’s the best I could ever dream or imagine… For losing you… “But you never did, Mom. I told you we’re still writing our story.” “Writing our story together.” I’m amazed how you merged our stories together. To serve the same purpose. Educating kids. Alphabet Anatomy In the physical world – the alphabet. Without it, they couldn’t communicate. It’s so basic to the physical world. Love Soars the Skies, A mother’s quest to reach her son I could only write it… With you in the spiritual world. “And the unicorns will alchemize it, Mom.” “That was always the gold!” I think of the gold picture that I hung in your corner in the dining room. We are dining. And I think: what rhymes with dine? “Fine, Mom.” “Fine dining with me!” “Both of us together. Writing words.” He has me read Letter D’s story. I read the line: “The devoted dog cooks dinner – his culinary skills divine.” And I think of you cooking dinner all those times, for us, and how much you loved to cook. “God is dog spelled backwards.” “And we are all divine.” Then I read the last line of letter D’s story. “To achieve the deep desires and dreams within the heart.” “You painted the unicorns gold. Remember, Mom.”

Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder when ordinary and even tattered objects become extraordinary and priceless. Because they represent a lifeline that saves me from the unthinkable despair of no longer communicating with you. Because they validate my unwavering belief that a mother’s love has the inexhaustible power to transcend all boundaries and reach you wherever you’ve gone. And what better setting for this most potent love to forge two worlds together than in the boundless, exquisite splendor of nature. The very first plumage was nine inches long and pure white, starkly erect against a sturdy dark trunk, contrasted under expansive green foliage. A mere two weeks after losing you, as I numbly walked along a dusty park trail, a rookie inmate to the harshest mental mind prison from which there is no genuine escape, just acceptance of its alternating severities of penalty. And yet, the onset of my new vision and the corresponding gift of new eyes, so I can still breathe and find a way to navigate the consuming darkness. New eyes develop out of the darkest of dark, kindled from a lone resilient spark that refuses to be extinguished by the fire, though suffocated profusely. From that point forward, they enable one’s vision to unceasingly fuse with the heart. A vaster, broader view is established. A vantage point from a higher vista never known of before. Insight into one’s sight. My old eyes could never perceive the grandeur within these innocuous items and explore their veiled yet captivating significance. But I was certain that if it’s possible to reach you, that you would help me do it. And you would master whatever skills are required on your part as well. You were always exceedingly wise beyond your years, and I am overcome with pride and wonder… Yes, I implored the universe to expand. I too must expand my vision to see a bigger picture of reality. I need my son’s encouragement, assistance, talent, and skills in order to manifest a new way to communicate. My journey is an earnest desire for truth and spiritual enlightenment. And I would be humbled and thrilled if my small part could in any way contribute to the greater good, the “spiritual uplifting of mankind.” And most definitely, the search for “understanding and wisdom” has become, and will remain, among my top pursuits for the rest of my life. Newfound vision is the acquired survival tool for communication with a place the eyes cannot see…, at least not for now. Not in verbal language, for words are often superficial and always fleeting. This version of love speaks in silent declarations, knowing thoughts, with resounding assurances, beyond the five typical senses. It is eternal and indestructible…. He was my giant, standing 6’4” with the most radiant smile – so strong, and brimming with talent and charm.  He is the only one who could ever help me cope with this altered reality of my previous life, and now he confirmed that he will.  He is my angel and with me always, because love is more powerful than life or death, and most assuredly does survive for all eternity. And just maybe…, there is no chasm at all.

  Most of your possessions seemed to get lost along the way, from the time I first gave this to you when you were 6 years old. Through the years, we moved four times and then you moved out when you were older. But this ceramic box you somehow kept in a safe place and made sure it never got broken. It means the world to me that it was so special to you. You came to my room holding it in your hands one afternoon. You asked me to hold onto it in case something happens to you. I just brushed your comment off and said not to talk like that. I placed it in the cabinet beside my bed. How I wish I could go back to that afternoon and ask you how, and why… But that would be for me to discover in the years that followed. Looking back, it’s almost as if you knew that your remaining time with us was short, that you’d be leaving us on the 22nd day of January just a few months later. Giving me back that treasured box is one of the most profound miracles of my journey, because I realize now that you wanted me to have the unicorn’s remarkable power and magic. And that I would need to embrace all of it to help me navigate the unthinkable road ahead of me. This unicorn box is a tangible object, but it represents the intangible as well. It’s our lifeline, like a bridge. And I remember my words: I implored the universe to mercifully expand and lower its invisible, life-sustaining bridge to connect heaven and earth. And the unicorn can cross freely between the physical and spiritual planes. I am left speechless when realizing the abundant significance of the unicorn in my quest to still connect with you, my search for truth, and my resolute desire to expand my perceptions to somehow make sense of this journey. And I realize that the unicorns have stayed in my bedside cabinet all this time, no doubt working their magic. All those nights that I laid in bed with my heart aching so badly that tremors pulsed through my body. And I also realize that the unicorn box is made of clay. It had to be fired to make it strong. And I too would eventually learn that walking through fire would make me stronger than I ever dreamed possible. I engraved the back: To Nathan, I love you! And you must have known just how powerful love really is. I have learned that it’s the mightiest of all forces in the entire universe. Nothing can ever rival it. I never knew when I made this box for you that you would lead me back to these golden unicorns. And they would spark hope and understanding of this journey that broke my heart into a million pieces. You knew I would find all these meanings someday… And you believed every one of them. And in this moment, I hear you say: “I wanted to prove the unicorn magic to you, Mom, all of its magic and power!” “Because together, I knew we could do it.” The unicorn magic; that’s been my trajectory. From the day you were born… Spiritually, the unicorn represents purity, transformation, the awakening of higher consciousness, and the presence of magic in the physical world. The magic of the unicorn is tied to its elusive nature, reminding us to seek the extraordinary within the ordinary. The unicorn represents the last remaining thread of a pure, miraculous world. Its presence encourages us to trust our intuition and believe in miracles, even when logic cannot explain them. In a spiritual context, imagination is not an escape from reality, but a gateway to manifestation. The unicorn acts as a guardian of this creative spark, pushing us to dream beyond the limits of our current environment. A unicorn can never truly be captured by force and only reveals itself to those who are pure of heart. This symbolizes our own spiritual independence — a reminder to stay true to our unique singularity and refuse to be boxed in by societal expectations. The single horn of a unicorn aligns with the crown chakra, acting as a spiritual gateway to higher consciousness and divine realms, and reflects a transcendent state of absolute unity and focused intent. Because it emerges from the forehead, it directly symbolizes the opening of the third eye, serving as a bridge to divine wisdom and spiritual insight. In modern and esoteric traditions, unicorns are viewed as high-frequency beings that cross freely between physical and spiritual planes, easily bypassing the laws of the physical universe. The unicorn is capable of communicating telepathically and invites us to explore the true meaning of life. The unicorn gives you a choice, to ride the winds of miraculous magic or stay in the realms of our own fears and limitations. Combining its wisdom and powers, it is capable of infinite possibilities and knows no boundaries. Unicorn magic gives us the power to believe that we can overcome anything. Unicorn will always show us that there is a way, even when we are up against what appears to be a solid wall. When up against a wall, the unicorn will show us how to walk right through it. **This is my confirmation: I went clothes shopping for Aunt Rita, who is elderly now and no longer able to care for herself. I was skimming through a rack of nightgowns when suddenly I was facing unicorn pajamas. Startled, I took them off the rack. In that moment, they were the most beautiful thing imaginable. I looked at the size. Yes, they would fit. I smiled in awe. The unicorns would be even closer still. I excitedly showed them to your father as soon as I got home. He was happy that I was happy. Then he laughed and said, “You’re not a 12-year old.” But he doesn’t […]

I pulled this watch from the same jewelry box in my bedroom cabinet where the ring was. I remember buying it many years ago, and Nathan is bringing it to my attention now. It’s filled with crystals – around the face and throughout the band. I read the word “QUARTZ” on the bottom of its shimmery white face. I’ve talked about crystals lately because quartz crystals are vital for creating “time” in this realm. They also control signals in smartphone microchips, radio frequencies, and computer CPUs. Voluminous amounts of them will be needed for the mega data centers that are being built all around this country and the world. I noticed the time this watch displays: 12:33…, with the second hand on the “9.” It’s another sign from my son. As I’ve said before, Nathan used to talk about the number “33” a lot. It’s powerful because it equals 9. It’s also a Master number. The same number that is flashed before us in various ways when we’re aware of it. But we can use it to our benefit as well as we discover that we’re all Masters here in this realm. Minutes later, I notice the cream-colored pillow this watch is bound to – and its relevance to my life right now. There’s a clear band all around the pillow to hold it closed. But it’s not working… It pops open in the back. The band has lost its grip. The width of the band needs to be wider for containment… “Band width,” Nathan tells me. But there’s more than one meaning here. The synchronicities in finding this watch on a pillow right now again confirms that he’s aware of exactly what’s going on in our lives no matter how small or how big circumstances might be. The pillow is actually a cover for the stuffing inside of it. The watch represents the time, a construct of this reality that is controlled. Nathan is telling me again we are the Masters. I will cherish this for as long as I live, I tell my son. Later that night, Nathan tells me the four designs in the connecting circles of the watch band are shaped like “eyes” and represent the crystalline nature of our pineal glands.